The Doctor On: The Importance of Being Belle

Being the most prominent non-family member of my blog, I figure that I should give you all a little background about Belle. She was born in a little log cabin in eastern Illinois in 1806.  No. Actually, she is my age- although im not quite sure whether she was born in Maryland or not... Prolly better check on that. Anyway, I met her when I moved to Colorado at the ripe old age of 13. We hit it off famously- she hated me, and I simply didn't bother learning who she was.

My first serious memory of the girl was from early freshman year- a friend of mine had obtained a photo of her and was singing her praises to heaven during lunch. I decided that I needed to meet this girl. Well, eventually I got her to at least talk to me. The miracle that is facebook made it able for me to show her my charm from a distance until she stopped trying to strangle me.

 She is now one of my best friends, and one of the greatest people I have ever met. She has fabulous taste in pretty much everything- Harry Potter, Shakespeare, and a number of other books. Her taste in music has something to be desired- it's all modern girly stuff. But I've forgiven her for that. She has a hilarious sense of humor, and always keeps me smiling.

The name came straight from The Beauty and the beast- She is a drop-dead gorgeous brunette with a penchant for good books, stimulating conversation, and strange men. Practically every guy she has ever been romantically attracted to has been a "beast" in some way- totally loveable, great people, but labeled as different. One of the best things about her is her ability to see past the obvious and love the person for who they are. She has no idea that she is so attractive- she firmly believes that her looks are sub-par and she will end up as an old maid. I doubt that she will make it past freshman year without a ring on her finger (she HATES jewelry, but *may* make an exception for a wedding ring.)

Belle is a great person, who puts up with more from me than I really deserve. I hope that everyone can have a friend like Belle- or at least one half as good. With a friend like her, you could do anything.

The Doctor on: Telephone Therapy?

Everyone has played the Telephone game-  A person starts out with a phrase. They whisper that phrase into someone's ear, who whispers it to the next person. Eventually, the original phrase gets altered and the final phrase sounds nothing like the original.  This happens in life all the time- advice is given, advice is processed, advice is translated, and it is passed on in a different form. The result is passed back to the original person.

I'm kinda getting to see something of this.Someone I know is having troubles- Dean, my friend Belle's (now)ex.. The problem is that it is none of my business- Dean not only doesn't know me well, but also dislikes me. Why? He has his reasons. Not important.  Anyway, he isn't really a friend- just a friend of a friend. So why do I care? Belle does. It is basically all she thinks about these days- we haven't had a conversation in weeks that hasn't mentioned Dean at least once. She is seriously worried about this guy. that means the worry passes to me.

So how do I help? That's a good question. I would love to be able to answer it. I am the kind of person that hates watching people I like have troubles, so I try my best to fix them. But in this case, there is absolutely nothing I can do. And things have progressed to the point where she can't do anything either- not that that has stopped her from trying. I'm sure that she sometimes thinks that I don't care, or that she is the only one who is worried about the poor guy, but that isn't true. I am suffering over this almost as much as she is- but I am even more helpless. So for once the doctor is asking for advice- if you can think of a way I can help, a way to fix things, let me know. My receptionist will give you your Nobel Peace Prize and send you on your way.

The Doctor on: Why Everyone Should Have a Dog (alt. Why Dogs Are Better than Girlfriends)

Over the course of my life, I have owned several dogs- Blue, Aiden, Mosby, Poppy, and I'm assuming at least one other that I can't remember off the top of my head. Dogs are awesome, and my purpose here is to tell you why.
1. You don't have to remember their birthdays. I'm pretty certain we have only celebrated one or two of Moe's birthdays, and he really doesn't care.
2. Clothes? Cheapest things around. Unless you are a slightly obsessed owner, doggie clothes shouldn't cost much at all- just a collar, maybe a bandanna (for when they want to look fancy), and a sweater for the little ones. They never ask for more than that, and they are happy with whatever they have.
3.Food. Dogs love their food. They can eat the same thing every meal of  every day and not complain. Sure, they love your food, too, and things that really should be food, but a bag of puppy chow is all they really need.
4. They don't hold grudges. Once a dog loves you, it always will. You can do whatever you want, and it will still be happy to see you. Unconditional love- nice, eh?
5. Exercise. Depending on the dog you get, you will be forced to go on walks and such. That is good for you, especially those of us who really don't do that enough on our own.
6. Dogs cure depression. Studies have shown that petting a dog releases the same hormones as the ones released by spending time with your own child. You both get really happy, and a ton of stress is released.
7. You get your own portable heating pad. There is nothing better to do on a cold night than have a nice warm puppy dog curled up against you. trust me- you get a hot pad and a pillow, all at once.
8. Protection. Now, this doesn't fit for all dogs, but many can make pretty good watchdogs. They protect your house and scare away creepy, stupid stuff. It works.

9. They know when you are sick, and act accordingly. Whenever I an sick, my little dog, Poppy, Jumps onto my lap and stays there until im feeling better. She knows it helps, so she does it.
10. They are much better company than most humans. They don't talk back, they don't tell you that you are wrong, and they agree with whatever you say. Go get yourself a dog right now. Go. Run. Get one.

The Doctor on: The End of an Era

Well, This year everything will change. Life will be absolutely so different that I don't know how I will be able to cope. The way I will think will be different, the way I see the world will change, what I do for fun. Yes, the one thing that has controlled the most of my life will end. This year, the final Harry Potter movie will come out. I really don't know what I will do, not having the next movie to wait for. I at least had a distraction when the books ended- I was moving, so I got to be a little distracted. But now? I don't know. I really don't. Oh, and I'm going to college and stuff.

The Doctor on: What sane person knows what happens in the minds of women?

So a very good friend of mine has presented a theory to be tested: girls love boys more than boys love girls. Her evidence? Supposedly, us guys can only think of one thing at a time, whereas girls can think about several things. If that was true, it would explain a lot. The thing is, though, its wrong. The human mind can only consciously focus on one thing at a time. Girls may believe that they can, but they simply have A.D.D- they focus on a huge number of things rapidy, and in succession, but only one at a time. The truth is that guys love the girls more than the girls love the guys. While somewhere in the back of the girls mind the guy may be one of the topics of concentration, how often is it the most important one? the guy is just one of a hundred topics. For guys, on the other hand, everything is the girl he loves. Every song that plays, every sight he sees, and everything he feels. If he truly loves her, then anything that happens reminds him of her. he sees the right color (mmm.... she wore that the day we first kissed) or he hears the right song (This played on the radio when we drove to prom). After a while, she becomes his life. The girl, even when she is with her boy, is trying to concentrate on so many other things that she is never really with him, at least not completely. This is why my friend is wrong- she simply has never loved a guy enough to let him love her that much. She may argue, but I'm right when I need to be.

The Doctor on: The Invisible Man?

The other day I discovered an amazing occurrence: I don't Exist! Having been informed several times now that I "Don't count", I have come to the realization that I must be a figment of my own imagination! It doesn't matter whether I don't count in the "None of the boys like me. Well, except for you, but you don't count" or the "There are no nice football players! Except for you, but you don't count." Or even the "Have you noticed that all the mormon boys are sooooo cute?!?!?! lol??? Well, except for you, you don't count", manners, I don't count.

Obviously, as an imaginary human being, none of my achievements are valid. I am not A football player, Mormon, or even male! My entire personality can be summed up in the word 'Tyler'. There are no descriptions, additions, or add-ons. I am the invisible Tyler. This is actually fairly exciting- I, apparently, can do whatever I want, because none of it counts!  This leaves me  open to do all kinds of non-actions, whether it be not-stealing the Mona Lisa, not-shooting King Kong off of the empire state building, or not-curing cancer. As long as I don't do anything, I can do whatever I want!