The other day I discovered an amazing occurrence: I don't Exist! Having been informed several times now that I "Don't count", I have come to the realization that I must be a figment of my own imagination! It doesn't matter whether I don't count in the "None of the boys like me. Well, except for you, but you don't count" or the "There are no nice football players! Except for you, but you don't count." Or even the "Have you noticed that all the mormon boys are sooooo cute?!?!?! lol??? Well, except for you, you don't count", manners, I don't count.
Obviously, as an imaginary human being, none of my achievements are valid. I am not A football player, Mormon, or even male! My entire personality can be summed up in the word 'Tyler'. There are no descriptions, additions, or add-ons. I am the invisible Tyler. This is actually fairly exciting- I, apparently, can do whatever I want, because none of it counts! This leaves me open to do all kinds of non-actions, whether it be not-stealing the Mona Lisa, not-shooting King Kong off of the empire state building, or not-curing cancer. As long as I don't do anything, I can do whatever I want!
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