The Doctor on: Why Everyone Should Have a Dog (alt. Why Dogs Are Better than Girlfriends)

Over the course of my life, I have owned several dogs- Blue, Aiden, Mosby, Poppy, and I'm assuming at least one other that I can't remember off the top of my head. Dogs are awesome, and my purpose here is to tell you why.
1. You don't have to remember their birthdays. I'm pretty certain we have only celebrated one or two of Moe's birthdays, and he really doesn't care.
2. Clothes? Cheapest things around. Unless you are a slightly obsessed owner, doggie clothes shouldn't cost much at all- just a collar, maybe a bandanna (for when they want to look fancy), and a sweater for the little ones. They never ask for more than that, and they are happy with whatever they have.
3.Food. Dogs love their food. They can eat the same thing every meal of  every day and not complain. Sure, they love your food, too, and things that really should be food, but a bag of puppy chow is all they really need.
4. They don't hold grudges. Once a dog loves you, it always will. You can do whatever you want, and it will still be happy to see you. Unconditional love- nice, eh?
5. Exercise. Depending on the dog you get, you will be forced to go on walks and such. That is good for you, especially those of us who really don't do that enough on our own.
6. Dogs cure depression. Studies have shown that petting a dog releases the same hormones as the ones released by spending time with your own child. You both get really happy, and a ton of stress is released.
7. You get your own portable heating pad. There is nothing better to do on a cold night than have a nice warm puppy dog curled up against you. trust me- you get a hot pad and a pillow, all at once.
8. Protection. Now, this doesn't fit for all dogs, but many can make pretty good watchdogs. They protect your house and scare away creepy, stupid stuff. It works.

9. They know when you are sick, and act accordingly. Whenever I an sick, my little dog, Poppy, Jumps onto my lap and stays there until im feeling better. She knows it helps, so she does it.
10. They are much better company than most humans. They don't talk back, they don't tell you that you are wrong, and they agree with whatever you say. Go get yourself a dog right now. Go. Run. Get one.